Interestingly, in the last few weeks I’ve been contacted by many different women for one reason or another. They all want to talk to me.
One is a twin mom, whom I have never met. She’s overwhelmed. Her friends’ picture perfect lives are making her feel inadequate. An old friend, with whom I hadn’t spoken in years – has been struggling with her fertility journey and has now chosen a new avenue to grow a family and wanted to pick my brain. A student of mine from years ago reached out after reading my blog about following your heart and dreams. And another, a model from one of the Facebook groups I run – has a unique opportunity to share with the world about infertility – and the long road, isolation, emotional and mental stress, and so much more that comes with it – and wanted to run some thoughts by me.
I just wanted to firstly thank you for all approaching and trusting in me. I don’t know for sure why I was who you chose. But I am honored and humbled. I only hope I can help you on your path.
But more importantly I wanted set the record straight.
So many of us are looking at our lives, and wondering what’s missing – based on other people’s specifically chosen social media persona.
Those personas are not reality.
Peoples’ lives are not perfect.
Admittedly I’ve been counting other people’s money recently. Which is such an unattractive thing to do.
I’ve been questioning how the hell they can afford it all. Been watching the meals they prepare for their children and wonder what piece of my brain is missing – that I can only figure out how to use a microwave. And often get that wrong. I see the vacations they’re on. The clothes their children are in. The fancy restaurant in which they enjoy a leisurely Tuesday evening meal.
And wonder how I’m paying rent next month and, still, September’s daycare bill. And if I’ll ever be able to live that lovely, and easy, of a life.
I just wanted to put a reminder out right now. Especially during this holiday season. When people are struggling. With life. With funds. With emotional states. With carrying more than they can. With job stressors. With fertility struggles. With loss. With the every day.
What you see is not perfection. It’s not even reality. We don’t know what people’s struggles are. We know social media is fabricated and only captures and shows the exact second and shot we want the world to see.
It’s hard to not look. Not judge. Not question. Not wonder. Not dream. That’s all just human nature. I only hope we – very much me included – can focus on what we have. And not what we don’t. Not worry about what others do or don’t, either.
During this holiday season in particular I’m working on being more mindful of what I put out there.
So ladies, I remain here for you. During my rough days. And yours. Through my messes and your uncertainties.
Here’s a picture of my life.
Because it sure as shit ain’t perfect.
We all have our cross to bear. But more importantly – our lives to live. Let’s do our best to give ourselves a break.
Sure you may see my cute kids. Me carrying one, pushing two and walking a dog. You see me and Nathan smiley on a day off my parents gave us.
Here’s a picture of what you – generally – do not see.
Gentle reminder. Nothing is perfect.