A few days late. Maybe delaying the inevitable, not ready to accept what it means. Or maybe life is just insane. Either way, what I think about right now, in this final month before these two turn one, are a few simple things.
I truly cannot fathom that we’ve almost come to one full rotation around the sun. Preparing for this last month a few things strike me. And since it’s too late for me, I’ll share my own experience as unsolicited advice for any of you at the early stages of this journey. I wish a few things. Knowing now, that it all happens so fast, and knowing this was my last round of firsts. I should have smelled and stared at them just a little bit longer. I wish I pumped less and cuddled more. Not that I cleaned TOO much, but I wish I worried less and enjoyed more. Thought less, felt more. Planned less, was present more. I know that none of us are made of money, but I wish I had said yes to certain things. This is not the time to worry about money. Splurge on the newborn photos, buy the adorable bunny hat. Put down the phone (ironic, I get it). Accept help and kindness from others. Pay strong attention to your partnership. That’s the love that got them here. Massage it, spend time on it. It will get you through the tough nights.
Lastly and possibly most importantly – give yourself a break. We all do the absolute best we can with what we’re given. We are all way, way too hard on ourselves – so be kind to you and, Love Love Love.
Happy 11months to them.
And to us.
And to the best big sister I’ve seen.
I’m tired. Definitely poorer. A little less sane. But so deep in love and happiness.