Life is full of BIG decisions. Though, too often we are frozen, unable to take that first step to make them. Whether it’s fear of the unknown, golden handcuffs, risk aversion, finances, responsibility. All legitimate – but anchors, nonetheless.
Comfort (can?) equate to complacent. It takes a lot to make life altering decisions. It is not for the faint of heart.
In life we are frequently waiting for something, a sign, a raise, the kid, the house – the life we dream about.
The problem with waiting, is that life passes us by, and we can’t fully appreciate the life we’re in.
I’ve had my struggles. My cross to bear. But recently in life my biggest complaint was my solid job, that paid me well, provided my family incredible insurance – wasn’t fulfilling anymore. I know, some people (reading this) could think – she doesn’t get to bitch about that, that’s quite the problem to have. I’m not looking for anyone to commiserate – I’m simply now aware – that though things may look good on paper, sometimes it’s worth picking that paper up and looking beneath it – or maybe even ripping it to shreds.
It’s so cliche – but I think it’s worth considering – on your deathbed, when you look back, will you feel like you truly led a life you’re proud of? When there’s no time left for regret – will you be content?
My answer, was no.
This actually isn’t a post about leaving my job. It’s about what happened AFTER I made the decision. And, granted, it’s been a total of 28 days – so I’m hardly tenured on the topic. But, it’s incredible how the universe listens.
The day after I told my job of almost 6 years – a job that was a career move – my time had come – I received a call that both of my babies were going to begin the evaluation process for early intervention. I would need to be available about one afternoon a week, for the next month.
From there I would need to go on meetings with the state, then once approved, meet with the therapists. Then finally be available once the therapies began. This simply would not have been possible in my former life (of one month ago). I will need to be fully present for my kids.
None of this is to say – it’s smooth sailing. I have no idea how we’ll pay for daycare, insurance, lunch.
But what I know – is that it will all work out – I am as certain of this as I am the sun will rise.
As I build a new company with my business partner the focus is paramount. Our priorities and mission are entirely aligned. We want to have the best possible motherhood journey for us, as well as for the women we’re working with who are either just starting out on theirs, or deep in the trenches.
I left all my babies home last night with a babysitter for the first time ever. I had to work. Nathan had a show. It was time. And we did it. At 1am I woke up to the oldest puking in her bed. It lasted all night. All. Night. Stripped sheets. Baths. No sleep. I kept her home from school today. Because I can. Because she needs me. Because I need this. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe it was something more. Don’t know. Don’t care. But, another thing I would have had to struggle with, in my past life.
The juggling act.
That first step to make a change is the hardest. No debating that. But the freedom, and weightlessness that comes with that step is so freeing I can’t quite put it to words. And sure, there will be bumps in the road. There’s uncertainty ahead. But I’m trusting that at the end of (my) days, I will know with absolute certainty that I did exactly what I was supposed to do, at this moment in time, and will be completely at peace with the life I chose.
Accept the risk.
Make the choice.
Take that step.
Live your life.
There’s no time left for regret.
